Ned Beauman - The Teleportation Accident - Hodder & Stoughton

Time remaining

  • -- days
  • -- hours
  • -- minutes
  • -- seconds
Other Formats
  • Hardback £16.99
    More information
    • ISBN:9780340998427
    • Publication date:19 Jul 2012
  • Downloadable audio file £P.O.R.
    More information
    • ISBN:9781444767551
    • Publication date:11 Sep 2012

The Teleportation Accident

By Ned Beauman

  • Paperback
  • £9.99

From the award-winning Ned Beauman, an 'unquestionably brilliant' (TLS) novel that establishes him as one of the exciting and influential voices in modern British fiction.

NED BEAUMAN HAS BEEN NAMED AS ONE OF GRANTA MAGAZINE'S BEST OF YOUNG BRITISH NOVELISTS 2013

LONGLISTED FOR THE 2012 MAN BOOKER PRIZE

AN OBSERVER BOOK OF THE YEAR

A DAILY TELEGRAPH BOOK OF THE YEAR

AN EVENING STANDARD BOOK OF THE YEAR

The fantastically inventive, ingenious and hilarious second novel from Ned Beauman, author of the acclaimed and prizewinning BOXER, BEETLE.

HISTORY HAPPENED WHILE YOU WERE HUNGOVER

When you haven't had sex in a long time, it feels like the worst thing
that could ever happen to anyone.

If you're living in Germany in the 1930s, it probably isn't.

But that's no consolation to Egon Loeser, whose carnal misfortunes will push him from the experimental theatres of Berlin to the absinthe bars of Paris to the physics laboratories of Los Angeles, trying all the while to solve two mysteries: whether it was really a deal with Satan that claimed the life of his hero, the great Renaissance stage designer Adriano Lavicini; and why a handsome, clever, charming, modest guy like him can't, just once in a while, get himself laid.

From the author of the acclaimed BOXER, BEETLE comes a historical novel that doesn't know what year it is; a noir novel that turns all the lights on; a romance novel that arrives drunk to dinner; a science fiction novel that can't remember what 'isotope' means; a stunningly inventive, exceptionally funny, dangerously unsteady and (largely) coherent novel about sex, violence, space, time, and how the best way to deal with history is to ignore it.

LET'S HOPE THE PARTY WAS WORTH IT

Biographical Notes

Ned Beauman was born in 1985 and lives in London. His debut novel, BOXER, BEETLE, won the Writers' Guild Award for Best Fiction Book and the Goldberg Prize for Outstanding debut Fiction, and was shortlisted for the Guardian First Book Award and the Desmond Elliot Prize. In 2011 Ned Beauman was picked by The Culture Show as one of the 12 Best New British Writers.

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9780340998441
  • Publication date: 11 Apr 2013
  • Page count: 368
  • Imprint: Sceptre
Less than two years after his multi-award-winning debut BOXER BEETLE Ned Beauman returns with another fizzing firework of a caper, featuring as many cracking escapades as its predecessor . . . His prose is wonderfully discursive and buzzes with originality, while scenes of pure farce nod respectfully to Thomas Pynchon and Hunter S Thompson . . . his bold characterisations, slapstick humour, slick similes and tangential subplots are sublime. A strong, smart follow-up that proves Beauman is more than comfortable with the hype he's created for himself. — Time Out
I'm sure it's the funniest novel on the list. — Evening Standard
Terrific . . . if there was ever any worry that he might have crammed all his ideas into his first book, this makes it clear he kept a secret bunker of his best ones aside. — Guardian
'If you care about contemporary writing, you must read this . . . BOXER, BEETLE was acclaimed as the most inventive fictional debut in years, buzzing with energy and ideas, and Beauman's second novel keeps up the pace' — Tatler
I hugely enjoyed Ned Beauman's clever-dick conflation of modern east London with Thirties Berlin . . . the antihero Egon Loeser is as deft and witty a portrait of blinkered self-obsession as I have read — Nick Curtis, Evening StandardBooks of the Year
'THE TELEPORTATION ACCIDENT is a hilarious picaresque that begins in Thirties Berlin (though one so littered with ketamine, haircuts and sad young literary men that it could pass for Dalston in 2012) . . . Beauman manages to be seriously intelligent and seriously funny at the same time' — Tim Martin, Daily Telegraph Books of the Year
Funny and startlingly inventive . . . Beauman is a writer of prodigious talent, and there are enough ideas and allusions and comic set pieces in this work, longlisted for the 2012 Man Booker Prize, to fill myriad lesser novels. — FT
[Beauman] is blisteringly funny, witty and erudite . . . Beauman manages to combine the intrigue of a thriller with the imagery of a comedy. It makes for an excellent read. — Daily Telegraph
This is an unquestionably brilliant novel, ribald and wise in equal measure . . . a witty and sometimes deeply moving fictional exegesis of the Modernist twilight. — TLS
A glorious, over-the-top production, crackling with inventive wit and seething with pitchy humour . . . A beguiling success . . . Ingenious . . . There is such an easy felicity in Beauman's writing and such a clever, engaging wit . . . that one feels he could write something as much fun every two years. The prospect of which makes me very, very happy indeed. — Scotsman
An extraordinary, Pynchonesque flea-circus of a book...Ned Beauman's pyrotechnical comic novel, his second, is as violently clever as you'd expect from his earlier book, BOXER, BEETLE... [a] frantically entertaining pasteboard extravaganza — The Sunday Times
He's done it again . . . Beauman does adolescent male lust and anomie with the verve of a young Amis and this is a great romp of a novel, delightful in its inventiveness. — Prospect
A hoot - very clever and charming, with an awesone range of reference. — Sunday Telegraph
Funny, scandalous, decadent and erudite, THE TELEPORTATION ACCIDENT is a hugely enjoyable madness with flavours of Pynchon, Huysmans and Jerome K. Jerome. — Nick Harkaway
Beauman, whose first novel BOXER, BEETLE was widely acclaimed, sets out his stall as a latter-day Evelyn Waugh in this dazzling satire that begins in 1930s Berlin. Biting black comedy. — The Times
Ned Beauman is a very funny writer, but also a very serious one. His second novel is a glorious rigmarole of satire, insanity, genre tropes and aching romantic pain, but never doubt that it is an essentially serious book. — Independent
Its meticulously crafted plot skitters from sci-fi to noir thriller; with comedic interludes and some romance for added sizzle . . . you'll be left bedazzled. — Daily Mail
Beauman has a huge gift for satire and the wry phrase...brought together so immaculately you never notice how hard he's working. — Word Magazine
A novel that turns everything on its head, Beauman's book is critical, funny and deliciously deviant. — The List
Ned Beauman is a writer of unceasing invention and his second novel is replete with ideas. — Metro
Popping with ideas, fizzing with vitality and great fun to quaff. — Independent on Sunday
Ned Beauman has written another very pleasing comic romp through the 1930s, offering a second offbeat perspective on the rise of the Third Reich. It is, once more, full of good jokes, erudite winks and historical whimsy . . . Beauman excels at both the grand, jostling structure and the individual sentence. His similes are often inspired, his dialogue is frequently hilarious, and his ability to keep all the plates spinning, as the story dashes between years and continents, is very impressive. — Literary Review
Lovable, brilliant and entertaining . . . Beauman takes a huge range of styles and genres and pushes them and bends them often to glorious effect . . . Beauman has a huge talent for metaphor and simile and hits with almost all of them. My personal favourite was 'there was enough ice in her voice for a serviceable daiquiri' - very Raymond Chandler. Also brilliant are some of his characters - notably Colonel Gorge who suffers from 'ontological agnosia' brought on by sniffing too much of the car polish that has made him rich, which means that he cannot differentiate between pictures and reality. That this references back to the Brechtian approach to theatre is just one example of the cleverness of Beauman's approach. But mostly, Gorge is just hilarious . . . Beauman is one of the most innovative young writers around and is one to follow. — www.thebookbag.co.uk
It is brilliantly witty, with a pace edging on breathless. Every stage is like the denouement of a great crime novel refigured as science. The reader is constantly challenged (and rewarded) as occurrences alternate between being clear and nebulous. Genuinely exhilarating. — We Love This Book
At times THE TELEPORTATION ACCIDENT is as bloody-mindedly difficult as Egon Loeser, but it builds slowly, brings its threads together with great skill, and Ned Beauman turns a good phrase as his characters dance their line between the cleverly obnoxious and the obnoxiously clever. — SFX
A shape-shifting, time-travelling, genre-teasing treat. — Seven
Two Roads

Girl on the Line

Alice Vinten
Authors:
Alice Vinten
Coronet

Doctor You

Jeremy Howick
Authors:
Jeremy Howick

'Read this book!' - Deepak Chopra'A timely book on a timeless problem of how body and mind interact to affect our health and well-being. Beautifully written by an international expert in the field, it challenges old habits of thinking and promises new ways of exploring what it means to live an integrated life. - Mark Williams, author of Mindfulness, Professor of Clinical Psychology and former director of the Oxford Mindfulness CentreTwenty per cent of Americans, half of the elderly British, and two thirds of older Canadians take at least five prescription drugs per day - their lives a non-stop ritual of pill popping and trying to manage side effects. One in ten people in developed countries take antidepressants. Millions of boys who can't sit still in school are prescribed methamphetamines. Modern medicine has been overused. Skyrocketing global healthcare costs render this overuse of medicine increasingly unaffordable. The wonders of modern medicine have also obscured the body's ability to heal itself. Your body produces its own drugs that can treat pain as well as drugs, cure some joint problems as well as a surgeon, and treat most mild depression as well as a psychologist. We've all heard of endorphins, but did you know 'endorphin' literally means 'morphine made by your body'? Besides the body's self-healing abilities, latest evidence clearly show that states of mind affect our health. Relaxing, positive thinking, and comfortable social environments can all improve our health as much as blockbuster drugs.Written using the latest, high quality, conventional evidence Doctor You arms you with knowledge that will empower you to make the right choices about what drugs to take, what drugs to give your children, and when you should let your body do its thing.

Coronet

Safe: How to stay safe in a dangerous world

Chris Ryan
Authors:
Chris Ryan

In 2016, Chris Ryan's family was targeted by a terrorist cell. He didn't know who they were, or where they might strike. All he knew was that he wanted to keep his family safe.In SAFE, Chris Ryan has compiled all the personal security expertise he acquired during his time serving with the Regiment - he was awarded the military medal for his quick-thinking and survival instincts. He reveals the skills that kept him safe working undercover in Northern Ireland, on the dangerous streets of central Africa and in the war zones of the Middle East. He explains how civilians can employ these techniques to keep themselves:· Safe on the streets and in their vehicles· Safe in a fight or in the midst of a terror incident· Safe on aircraft or in hostage situations· Safe from cyber attacks· Safe in riots· Safe from sexual predators and much more. Chris Ryan analyses real-life incidents, such as the Manchester Arena bombing, the London Bridge terror attack and the Tunisian beach shootings, and explains how ordinary people should act if they find themselves in similar scenarios. And he reveals fascinating stories, never before told, about life in the Regiment and the dangers faced by SAS soldiers. In a world of ever-present, ever-changing threats, this is a book that will empower you to take personal responsibility for your own security.

Hodder & Stoughton

Winter Solstice

Elin Hilderbrand
Authors:
Elin Hilderbrand

The last gorgeously festive instalment of the WINTER STREET series, from the New York Times bestselling author. Raise one last glass with the Quinn Family at the Winter Street Inn. It's been too long since the entire Quinn family has been able to celebrate the holidays under the same roof, but that's about to change. With Bart back safe and sound from Afghanistan, the Quinns are preparing for a holiday more joyous than any they've experienced in years.And Bart's safe return isn't the family's only good news: Kevin is enjoying married life with Isabelle; Patrick is getting back on his feet after paying his debt to society; Ava thinks she's finally found the love of her life; and Kelly is thrilled to see his family reunited at last. But it just wouldn't be a Quinn family gathering if things went smoothly.A celebration of everything we love - and some of the things we endure - about the holidays, WINTER SOLSTICE is Elin Hilderbrand at her festive best.

Hodder Paperbacks

The Worst Case Scenario Cookery Club: the perfect laugh-out-loud romantic comedy

Chrissie Manby
Authors:
Chrissie Manby

'Funny, warm and engaging; this year's must-read! 5****' By the Letter Book ReviewsIn the quaint seaside town of Newbay, a beginner's cookery course is starting. And three very different students have signed up...Liz's husband has left her for a twenty-something clean-eating blogger, and she's determined to show the world - and her daughter - she's just as capable in the kitchen. John, newly widowed after fifty years of marriage, can't live on sympathy lasagnes forever. To thirty-year-old workaholic Bella, the course is a welcome escape from her high-pressure job. Their only common ground: between them, they can barely boil an egg! Enter talented chef Alex, who is determined to introduce his pupils to the comforts of cuisine. As Liz, John and Bella encounter various disasters in the kitchen, the unlikely trio soon form a fast friendship. Their culinary skills might be catastrophic - but could the cookery club have given them a recipe for happiness?The wonderful new novel from bestselling author Chrissie Manby is perfect for fans of Jill Mansell, Trisha Ashley, Cathy Bramley, and The Great British Bake Off.Praise for The Worst Case Scenario Cookery Club:'A lovely book which brought a tear to my eye in places' - Broadbeansbooks'Heartwarming' - The Book Bag'Funny and emotional...a MUST READ this autumn' - On My Bookshelf'A very warm tale full of different kinds of love; just delicious!' - Netgalley Reviewer'If you want a funny, emotional read that will leave you wanting more then you need this book in your life!' - Goodreads'I loved this book... the perfect place to find a recipe for happiness!' - Goodreads'What an absolute joy to read...such a lovely story' - Goodreads'A winning recipe of a story... I devoured it from cover to cover!' - Goodreads 'Just the breath of fresh air that I needed... I could have kept reading for many more pages!' - Netgalley'I adored this hilarious book!' I Read Novels'Chrissie Manby has cooked up a fine tale' Cultural Wednesday'What a wonderfully lighthearted and uplifting novel, one I couldn't put down' - Bloglovin'An absolute joy to read - highly recommended for when you need a little pick-me-up!' - Brew and Book Reviews

Two Roads

The Railwayman's Wife

Ashley Hay
Authors:
Ashley Hay
Two Roads

The Bookseller

Cynthia Swanson
Authors:
Cynthia Swanson
Hodder & Stoughton

The Reluctant Contact

Stephen Burke
Authors:
Stephen Burke
Hodder & Stoughton

Cold Feet: The Lost Years

Carmel Harrington
Authors:
Carmel Harrington

All the love. All the drama. All you missed. HILARIOUS AND HEARTBREAKING OFFICIAL NOVEL FROM THE HIT TV SERIES.Reeling from the sudden death of Rachel, his beloved wife, Adam has no time to grieve. He has to keep going, for the sake of their baby son. Jenny moves back in with ex-husband Pete, eight and a half months pregnant with another man's child. Can their relationship overcome past jealousies? Karen and David agree to an amicable divorce - but that's before he sleeps with the divorce lawyer . . .THE LOST YEARS reveals what happened to your favourite characters between series five and six of the award-winning TV series written by Mike Bullen. It's an irresistible chance to catch up on all the laughter, the tears, the life lessons we missed while they were gone.*************PRAISE FOR 'COLD FEET: THE LOST YEARS''I loved it. The characters have been captured so well and it just feels so like Mike Bullen's creation . . . Harrington should be very proud - it really is fabulous! Margaret Conway, Line Producer COLD FEET

Sceptre

Madness is Better than Defeat

Ned Beauman
Authors:
Ned Beauman
John Murray

Hoffer

Tim Glencross
Authors:
Tim Glencross
Hodder Paperbacks

A Proper Family Adventure

Chrissie Manby
Authors:
Chrissie Manby
Hodder Paperbacks

A Proper Family Christmas

Chrissie Manby
Authors:
Chrissie Manby

Christmas comes but once a year . . . thank goodness! So keep calm this festive season and treat yourself to the warm, wonderful new novel from Chrissie Manby.Take one Queen Bee: Annabel Buchanan, with a perfect house in the country, a rich husband and a beautiful daughter, Izzy . . .. . . and one large, loud family: the Bensons.What happens when their worlds collide?When Izzy suddenly falls dangerously ill, adoptee Annabel has to track down her biological family to see if they can help her daughter. But can she see past the Bensons' brash exteriors to the warm, loving people they are at heart?With December just around the corner, is it too much to hope that the Bensons and the Buchanans can have a proper family Christmas?

Hodder Paperbacks

A Proper Family Holiday

Chrissie Manby
Authors:
Chrissie Manby
Hodder & Stoughton

Glow

Ned Beauman
Authors:
Ned Beauman
Hodder & Stoughton

Boxer, Beetle

Ned Beauman
Authors:
Ned Beauman
Coronet

The Extremist

Roger Pearce
Authors:
Roger Pearce

In a race down the Thames, Detective Chief Inspector John Kerr is caught in a fight ot the death with two gold smugglers. The American wife of the British Defence Secretary is brutally murdered while walking her dog. A senior judge is executed in Middle Temple Lane.Blocked by 'affirmative inaction' at New Scotland Yard and threats from MI6, Kerr deploys a talented female operative undercover to force the truth.A dirty bomb attack proves the motive is hatred of the United States and the special relationship. But is this domestic extremism or the work of foreign spies?As attacks escalate, Kerr confronts treachery and corruption from his own side and resorts to action as extreme as the dark forces turned against him.

Hodder & Stoughton

Drug on the Market

Nigel Tranter
Authors:
Nigel Tranter
Hodder Paperbacks

What I Did On My Holidays

Chrissie Manby
Authors:
Chrissie Manby
Hodder Paperbacks

The Islesman

Nigel Tranter
Authors:
Nigel Tranter

This is the story of Angus Og MacDonald, Lord of the Isles, grandson of the great Angus Mor, direct descendant and successor of Somerled himself.The semi-independent prince of the Hebrides and much of the West Highland mainland, he was a worthy representative of a notable line, living in dramatic and exciting times for Scotland and England, for Ulster, Man and Ireland. He took his part in it all, an active supporter of Robert the Bruce, chief of chiefs. He was a man who sought peace and prosperity for his so scattered people, encouraging trade, seeking to heal the feuding propensities of the clans, allying the Isles with Orkney and Shetland and Norway; travelling as far as the Baltic. He was also a man of humble mind, and a proud husband and father.