Andy Riley - Great Lies to Tell Small Kids - Hodder & Stoughton

Time remaining

  • -- days
  • -- hours
  • -- minutes
  • -- seconds
Other Formats
  • E-Book £P.O.R.
    More information
    • ISBN:9781444716801
    • Publication date:10 Oct 2005

Great Lies to Tell Small Kids

By Andy Riley

  • Hardback
  • £12.99

New wicked humour from the author of the bestselling Bunny Suicide books

This Christmas you can finally let your bunnies out of their padded hutches, because Andy Riley doesn't want them anymore. He wants your children!

From the creator of the bestselling Bunny books comes more wicked humour - GREAT LIES TO TELL SMALL KIDS. They range from merely bogus to truly cruel:

'Every ant you meet must be named'

'It takes the beaks of seven penguins to make a Penguin biscuit'

'All wind is made by wind farms'

'Wine makes mummy clever'

'Milk feels pain'

Each hilarious cartoon tells a tall tale to bamboozle kids and entertain wicked adults everywhere.

Biographical Notes

Andy Riley is the author/artist of the BUNNY SUICIDES books, GREAT LIES TO TELL SMALL KIDS, SELFISH PIGS, D.I.Y DENTISTRY, ROASTED, WINE MAKES MUMMY CLEVER, BEER MAKES DADDY STRONG and lots of other stuff. His scriptwriting work includes BLACK BOOKS, THE GREAT OUTDOORS, LITTLE BRITAIN, HYPERDRIVE, ARMSTRONG AND MILLER, SMACK THE PONY, GNOMEO AND JULIET, and THE ARMANDO IANNUCCI SHOWS.

For more information and cartoons, or if you want to talk to him, go to www.misterandyriley.com

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9780340834053
  • Publication date: 10 Oct 2005
  • Page count: 96
  • Imprint: Hodder & Stoughton
It's the funniest, bunniest book I've ever read — Elton John on THE BOOK OF BUNNY SUICIDES
Brilliantly researched. The most important book of the year — Hugh Grant on THE BOOK OF BUNNY SUICIDES
What kind of sick mind finds humour in such cruelty? — The League of Gentlemen on THE BOOK OF BUNNY SUICIDES
Hilarious — Sunday Mirror on THE BOOK OF BUNNY SUICIDES
Deeply dark, deeply funny — Glamour on THE BOOK OF BUNNY SUICIDES
Sadists of all ages will absolutely love it — Daily Telegraph on THE BOOK OF BUNNY SUICIDES
Hilarious, heartwarming and ever so sweetly mean — Simon Pegg on GREAT LIES
Hodder & Stoughton

My A-Z of Cricket

Henry Blofeld
Authors:
Henry Blofeld
Yellow Kite

A Cat's Guide to Humans

George the Cat, owner of Celia Haddon
Authors:
George the Cat, owner of Celia Haddon

'Do you need a human in the first place? If you do, do not adopt a human on impulse. You may not get the right one for your lifestyle.'George the Cat is the feline world's favourite agony aunt. Now he brings us his irresistible, hilarious A-Z guide for fellow felines to help them navigate the human world, understand their sometimes weird and idiotic behaviour, and help turn human failings to feline advantages. Includes advice on how to move a sleeping human to the very edge of their bed, enjoy the use of their empty boxes before they're thrown out, and to get doors opened for you whether or not you have a private catflap.George also has a word of advice for humans: 'Don't let your cat get his paws on this book!'

Hodder & Stoughton

Where There's a Will

Beth Corby
Authors:
Beth Corby
Hodder Paperbacks

Best Foot Forward

Adam Hills
Authors:
Adam Hills

*The Sunday Times Bestseller*Adam Hills is one the UK's best-loved comedians. For thirty years he has been performing stand-up, hosting TV shows and winning the hearts of a nation.Taking us from the early days of the Sydney Stand Up scene to hosting his own radio show, touring the world and eventually landing on British TV, Best Foot Forward is a story of a life in comedy. Along the way Adam shares some childhood tales, a few backstage blunders and encounters some fairly famous faces - the likes of Whoopi Goldberg, Billy Connolly, and that guy who sang The Macarena. Yes, him. This is an utterly hilarious and honest collection of stories about Adam's ups and downs in the world of comedy. It's a lesson in following your heart, being positive and discovering that what makes you different also makes you unique.

Coronet

Dadlife

Simon Hooper, Father of Daughters
Authors:
Simon Hooper, Father of Daughters

'This is the story of my journey into parenthood, from being a 24 year old man-child with no idea of what being a dad involved, to where I find myself today: the single male representative in a household of five women, or in other words, outnumbered. Our house is now known as "the place where silence came to die". It's also where you'll find carpets that are made up of 50% glitter and where there are more pink stuffed animals than at a colour-blind taxidermy specialists. But I wouldn't change a thing. These people are my life.'From uninitiated parents-to-be to those who know the ropes in families large or small, everyone will find something to relate to in Simon's hilarious and chaotic tales of his own home life. His observations of being a father have delighted his hundreds of thousands of followers on Instagram: before now dads are often the forgotten ones who carry the luggage, open stiff jars, take photos on holiday, fix broken bikes, go back to work, do the night feeds and make a mean beans on toast with melted cheese without so much as a pat on the back. All too often dads shrink into the background. But not in this book. Dadlife is an incredibly funny yet emotionally heartfelt ode to modern family life.

Two Roads

Cunk on Everything

Philomena Cunk
Authors:
Philomena Cunk
John Murray

The Daily Show Presidential Twitter Library

Trevor Noah
Authors:
Trevor Noah

As seen on The Daily Show, an illustrated portrait of the Donald J. Trump Twitter account, with analysis and 'scholarly' commentary from the writers of The Daily Show and an introduction by Trevor Noah.In June 2017, just steps from Trump Tower in midtown Manhattan, The Daily Show with Trevor Noah opened The Donald J. Trump Presidential Twitter Library, a 4,000-square-foot museum space that gave the 45th president and his amazing Twitter legacy the respect they deserve. In the single weekend it was open to the public, the Library pop-up drew 7,500 visitors and had to turn away countless others.But the Presidential Twitter Library experience should not be limited to the elite coastal few. Not fair! All citizens, even the Mexican ones, should have the chance to see Donald Trump's tweets in their rightful context - organized and commented on in the fearless, hilarious, insightful voice of The Daily Show.This one-of-a-kind exhibition catalogue presents the Library's complete contents, including:The Masterpieces: In-depth critical appreciations of history's most important Trump tweets, from 'Very Stable Genius' to 'Covfefe' to 'Trump Tower Taco Bowl/I Love Hispanics!'The Greatest Battles: @realDonaldTrump's brutal Twitter campaigns against fellow Republicans, Diet Coke, women generally, and Kristen Stewart specificallySad! A Retrospective: a compendium of the many people, events and twists of fate that apparently made Donald Trump feel this human emotionTrumpstradamus: DJT's amazing 140-character predictions-none of which came true!The Hall of Nicknames: the greatest of Trump's monikers, from 'Lyin' Ted' to 'Low I.Q. Crazy Mika', accompanied by original caricature artworkTrump vs. Trump: You're going to want to sit for this one. Donald Trump has sometimes been known to contradict himself.Always the Best: the greatest boasts of the greatest boaster of all time, ever!Comprising hundreds of Trump tweets, and featuring a foreword by Pulitzer Prize-winning historian Jon Meacham, and even a place for readers to add their own future Trump tweet highlights - because he is making new Twitter history literally every day - The Donald J. Trump Presidential Twitter Library is a unique portrait of an artist whose masterworks will be studied by historians, grammarians, and mental health professionals for years to come.

Hodder & Stoughton

Puppy Versus Kitten

Andy Riley
Authors:
Andy Riley

TWO PETS. ONE HOUSE. NO CLUE.'I'm a long term fan of what Andy Riley does with a pen and paper, and this is another sheer delight for the eyeballs. I ROFL'ed, then LOL'ed as the kids no longer say' AISLING BEA* * * * * *FROM the Emmy-winning creator of the immensely successful (and darkly humorous) Bunny Suicides series, comes a brand new cartoon creation, featuring a bright-eyed puppy and a philosophical kitten navigating the ins and outs of life together.Puppy Versus Kitten is the illustrated story of two adorable little creatures that have been plonked into the world knowing absolutely nothing about it. As expected, Kitten tries to use its intelligence to figure out situations, while Puppy, a much stupider creature, discovers its world by charging around and doing what comes to it naturally. Living together under one roof, they clash as they encounter one another for the first time. Kitty outsmarts Puppy over and over again, but then, they meet the humans ...

Yellow Kite

Kilted Yoga

Finlay Wilson
Authors:
Finlay Wilson
John Murray

Born A Crime

Trevor Noah
Authors:
Trevor Noah

WINNER OF THE THURBER PRIZEThe compelling, inspiring, (often comic) coming-of-age story of Trevor Noah, set during the twilight of apartheid and the tumultuous days of freedom that followed.One of the comedy world's brightest new voices, Trevor Noah is a light-footed but sharp-minded observer of the absurdities of politics, race and identity, sharing jokes and insights drawn from the wealth of experience acquired in his relatively young life. As host of the US hit show The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, he provides viewers around the globe with their nightly dose of biting satire, but here Noah turns his focus inward, giving readers a deeply personal, heartfelt and humorous look at the world that shaped him. Noah was born a crime, son of a white Swiss father and a black Xhosa mother, at a time when such a union was punishable by five years in prison. Living proof of his parents' indiscretion, Trevor was kept mostly indoors for the first years of his life, bound by the extreme and often absurd measures his mother took to hide him from a government that could, at any moment, take him away.A collection of eighteen personal stories, Born a Crime tells the story of a mischievous young boy growing into a restless young man as he struggles to find his place in a world where he was never supposed to exist. Born a Crime is equally the story of that young man's fearless, rebellious and fervently religious mother - a woman determined to save her son from the cycle of poverty, violence and abuse that ultimately threatens her own life.Whether subsisting on caterpillars for dinner during hard times, being thrown from a moving car during an attempted kidnapping, or just trying to survive the life-and-death pitfalls of dating in high school, Noah illuminates his curious world with an incisive wit and an unflinching honesty. His stories weave together to form a personal portrait of an unlikely childhood in a dangerous time, as moving and unforgettable as the very best memoirs and as funny as Noah's own hilarious stand-up. Born a Crime is a must read.

Hodder Paperbacks

Parsnips, Buttered

Joe Lycett
Authors:
Joe Lycett

**THE BRILLIANT & IRREVERENT GUIDE FROM AWARD-WINNING COMEDIAN JOE LYCETT **As seen on BBC1's The Time it Takes, also seen on 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown and Taskmaster. He's seen everywhere in fact. 'Joe is nothing short of hilarious' SARAH MILLICAN'I Lycett, I Lycett a lot' HARRY HILL'We were snorting with laughter like a happy pig throughout. Lots more of the same please Joe! 5*s' HEAT MAGAZINE* * * * * *Dear Reader,Life is hard. We are a bombarded generation: Facebook, billboards, Twitter, Instagram, taxes, newspapers, watches monitoring our sleep, apps that read our pulse, terrorism. There's such an onslaught to the senses these days it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed. I love bed.While we are overwhelmed and confused by the miasmic cloud of information, there are those that seek to take advantage: there are parking fines, hate Tweets, Nigerian email scams and Christmas newsletters from old school friends about their ugly kids. And just as we're getting round to doing something about it, we're distracted again.I, Joe Lycett, comedian, wordsmith, and professional complainer, am here to help. During my short life of doing largely nothing I've discovered solutions to many of life's problems, which I impart to you, dear Reader. Containing a centurion of complaint letters to unsuspecting celebrities, companies and anyone brave enough to clog up my phone, as well as illustrations, one-liners , jokes and life hacks, this little gem offers you a collection of tips and advice* for all manner of modern woe. By the time you have finished reading this book you will have learnt how to:- Reverse a parking fine - Manipulate the tabloid press - Navigate social media - Respond to hate mail - Out-weird internet trolls - Contest a so-called ripe avocado - Send the perfect Christmas newsletter - Defeat ISIS - Take down multi-national companiesAND MUCH, MUCH MORE!Joe Lycett x* If you are looking for guidance with taxes, quitting smoking, moving house, love, divorce, education, healthcare or anything actually important may I recommend speaking to friends or family members and not consulting a book by a comedian who eats halloumi at least twice a day.

Coronet

The A-Z of Pointless

Alexander Armstrong, Richard Osman
Authors:
Alexander Armstrong, Richard Osman

Journey from A-Z, playing 26 rounds of Pointless with family and friends and enjoy facts, banter and musings from Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman. Inside you'll find hundreds of questions for all the family from TV's most popular quiz show, Pointless. (You will also find thousands of answers, which is very handy.) Taking you on a journey from A to Z you will learn amazing facts, from Agincourt and Andy Warhol to Zinedine Zidane and Zimbabwe, and everything in between.As an added bonus Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman, also reveal their exclusive A to Z of behind the scenes gossip and Pointless secrets, all written with their trademark wit, alongside exclusive drawings by Moose Allain.Everyone you know will love this book. Except maybe for that couple you met on holiday, and, be honest, you didn't really like them anyway. I mean, she was alright, but what was up with him?

John Murray

What If?

Randall Munroe
Authors:
Randall Munroe
Coronet

Word Play

Gyles Brandreth
Authors:
Gyles Brandreth

'No matter how eloquently a dog may bark, he cannot tell you that his parents were poor but honest.' Only words can do that. Words are magic. Words are fun.Join Gyles Brandreth - wit and word-meister, Just A Minute regular, One Show reporter, denizen of Countdown's Dictionary Corner, founder of the National Scrabble Championships, patron of The Queen's English Society, QI, Room 101, Have I Got News For You and Pointless survivor - on an uproarious and unexpected magic carpet ride around the awesome world of words and wordplay.Puns, palindromes, pangrams, Malaprops, euphemisms, mnemonics, acronyms, anagrams, alphabeticals, Tweets, verbiage, verbarrhea - if you can name it, you should find it here, along with the longest, shortest, wittiest, wildest, oldest, latest, oddest, most interesting and most memorable words in the English language - the richest, most remarkable language ever known.

Sceptre

A Man Called Ove

Fredrik Backman
Authors:
Fredrik Backman
Hodder & Stoughton

OMG Baby!

Emma Garcia
Authors:
Emma Garcia
Coronet

The 100 Most Pointless Arguments in the World

Alexander Armstrong, Richard Osman
Authors:
Alexander Armstrong, Richard Osman
Hodder Paperbacks

Never Google Heartbreak

Emma Garcia
Authors:
Emma Garcia

A refreshingly honest, achingly funny read for fans of Bridesmaids, Caitlin Moran, and Pinot Grigio.When her fiancé Rob breaks off their engagement for the third time, Viv does what any girl would do - she Googles heartbreak.Confronted by tales of misery, she decides to set-up her own self-help website for the broken-hearted. But as Viv passes through the three essential stages of grief (denial, vodka, disastrous haircut), she becomes determined that it's not too late to try and get Rob back. When things get out of hand after a drunken declaration of love at an extremely inappropriate moment, Viv's scruffy, tequila-swilling best friend Max is there to pick up the pieces. Viv starts to realise that maybe the real thing has been under her nose all this time, and now - one ex and a massive error of judgement later - she has to face the question:What's the craziest thing you'll do for love?Readers of Lindsey Kelk, Sophie Kinsella and Paige Toon won't be able to put this down. Never has heartbreak been so hilarious...

Hodder & Stoughton

The Wisdom of the Shire

Noble Smith
Authors:
Noble Smith
Hodder & Stoughton

James May's Man Lab

James May
Authors:
James May

For at least two decades now modern man has been on the brink of a crisis. Persuaded by both the post-feminist political landscape and his representation in the popular media to remodel himself as an endearingly hopeless halfwit, he now exists only as an object of pity.James and his happy band of brothers (plus a few women, but we try to edit them out) are engaged on a quest to lead maledom to a broad sunlit upland strewn with slim books of English verse and neatly stacked with correctly sharpened tools arranged in descending size order. From here they confront the mysteries of romance and fashion, the cult of men's cooking and the daunting underworld of hardcore DIY. Read it and remember that, as a chap, your first duty is to be dependable. And then you can have a pint.