When We Were Fifty
By Christopher Matthew
These days we feel almost as young at fifty as we did at thirty - give or take the odd twinge. However, we are also becoming increasingly aware that the cradle is a lot further off than the grave. Is this the moment to start shaking things up a bit? The last chance to realize those long-cherished dreams? To chuck in the humdrum job and strike out? To set the pulse racing, perhaps, with a view earthwards from a hang-glider, or over the handlebars of a Harley Davidson? Is this when you make it at last onto the main board? Or become the Gauguin de nos jours? Start a new life in Goa with Lindy from Personnel - or possibly Trevor from Accounts? Or just look forward to grandparenthood? Already well known as the bard of the over-sixties, Christopher Matthew now reverses through time to take a hard look at the hopes and fears of those who are still in the prime of life - just. The result is a brilliant collection of verses - inspired once again by A. A. Milne - mostly comic, some subversive, some touching, that should hit the spot for those who have reached their half centuries, or soon will, or can remember what it was like when they did.
The Wicked Teenager
By Victoria Mather, Sue Macartney-Snape
Poppy is the epitome of cool, wondering as she varnishes her toenails, if she should have a little dolphin tattooed on her ankle. Besides being long, books are not quite so cool - what she really needs are her friend's notes. Downloading songs on to her iPod and reading Hello! instead of doing her A-level revision, Poppy fobs off her despairing parents by telling them that Google's ace for research on As You Like It. Whatever: she'll get an A. Social Stereotypes has itself just become a teenager and in this new collection Victoria Mather and Sue Macartney-Snape return pin-sharp in their aim to immortalize the characters de nos jours. From Krystal and Craig practising the samba at the Palais de Glide and dreaming of being on the telly, to the Compost Enthusiasts Constance and Caroline, by way of Hedge Funder Giles - with a house within the congestion zone, a Euro-wife with collagen implants, a 4 x 4 for the Croatian nanny and a Riva - every aspect of contemporary life is covered. It's impossible to resist being drawn in by the sparklingly mischievous prose and hilariously accurate illustrations of these stereotypes from the Telegraph Magazine. You will join the ever-increasing number of fans already officially classed as the Totally Hooked.
Wit of Cricket 2
Cricket is said to be a funny game and now you can hear why with another brilliant collection of humorous stories, jokes and anecdotes from the world of cricket as told by five of the game's all-time great personalities - Richie Benaud, Dickie Bird, Henry Blofeld, Brian Johnston and Fred Trueman.Recorded live in theatres and in the studio, here are dozens of hilarious anecdotes about England players such as Denis Compton, Len Hutton, Mike Brearley and Ian Botham - not to mention broadcasting gaffes, sledging, short-sighted umpires and the first male streaker at Lord's!
Wit of Cricket Collection
Cricket is often said to be a funny old game, and now you can find out why in this blockbusting collection of the very best jokes, stories and anecdotes from some of the game's great personalities. Dickie Bird, Fred Trueman, Brian Johnston and Henry Blofeld bring you the very best in cricketing humour in this hilarious compilation.
Who Wants to be a Football Millionaire
Where was the first World Cup held? A Argentina B France C Uruguay D The Netherlands Here's the ultimate challenge for all football fans and armchair contestants. If you think you could compete with the contestants who sit in the famous Who Wants to be a Millionaire? hot-seat, then this is the quiz book for you. Packed with 1,000 brain teasing questions about UK, European and international football, created by the Who Wants to be a Millionaire? question masters, this is the ultimate quiz book for any football fan. This World Cup, find out if you really know your football by playing Who Wants to be a Football Millionaire?
The Wit of Cricket
By Barry Johnston
A bumper collection of the funniest anecdotes, jokes and stories from cricket's best-loved personalities. Cricket is a funny old game - even when rain stops play! Now you can read not only the most popular stories by five of the game's all-time great characters - Richie Benaud, Dickie Bird, Henry Blofeld, Brian Johnston and Fred Trueman - but also the humour and insights of modern players including Michael Atherton, Andrew Flintoff, Darren Gough, Kevin Pietersen and Shane Warne. Crammed full of dozens of hilarious anecdotes about legendary Test cricketers such as Ian Botham, Geoffrey Boycott, Denis Compton, Michael Holding and Merv Hughes - plus broadcasting gaffes, sledging, short-sighted umpires and the first male streaker at Lord's!
What Shall I Wear Today? Style Secrets of a Furry Fashionista
By Fifi Lapin
Alberta Ferretti, Anna Sui, BCBGMAXAZRIA, Betsey Johnson, Celine, Charles Anastase, Comme des Garçons, Cynthia Rowley, David Koma, Diane von Furstenberg, Dolce & Gabbana, Eley Kishimoto, Emma Cook, Erdem, Erin Fetherston, Fendi, Julien Macdonald, Karen Walker, Gucci, Givenchy, Lacoste, Louis Vuitton, Louise Goldin, Louise Gray, Marc Jacobs, Marni, Michael van der Ham, Missoni, Miu Miu, Monique Lhuillier, Mulberry, Paul Smith, Peter Som, Phillip Lim, Prada, Pucci, Richard Nicoll, Rodarte, Tibi, Viktor & Rolf, Vivienne Westwood, Victoria Beckham, William Rast, Yves Saint Laurent and Moi!This is a style book like no other.Inside are the answers to one of life's big questions - what shall I wear today?Whether you want to perfect everyday chic, be an irresistible date, look casual without looking crumpled, get a pay rise or go for hold-the-front-page glamour, Fifi Lapin can help. She has spent years looking in the mirror.Of course, what looks great on Fifi won't necessarily work on you. Not everyone has long ears, a flat chest and a generously padded tushe but by following her golden rules of style, you too can feel fabulous from Monday to Sunday.Dubbed 'the world's most stylish bunny' (Elle), Fifi Lapin has appeared on bags for Le Sportsac, cards for Topshop, T-shirts for ASOS and has fans around the world. This is her first book.
The Wit of Golf
By Barry Johnston
A bumper bag of humorous anecdotes and amusing tales from golf's best-loved personalities that proves golf is a funny old game - birdies, bunkers and all! Read hilarious stories covering everything from caddies to the clubhouse by the game's all-time great characters, including Peter Alliss, Nick Faldo, Sandy Lyle, Sam Torrance and Ian Woosnam. Enjoy the humour of legendary players such as Seve Ballesteros, Tony Jacklin, Jack Nicklaus, Lee Trevino and Tiger Woods, as they share the funny side of playing in the Open Championship and the Ryder Cup. Laugh-out-loud at celebrity golfers Bruce Forsyth and Michael Parkinson's rib-tickling anecdotes about pro-am tournaments. THE WIT OF GOLF is a wonderful collection of jokes, stories and anecdotes, perfect for any golf fan.
Woath It? Coase Ah Am, Pet
By Cheryl Kerl
'Hei, Mam Ah'm ganna be a stor' said a young Cheryl Tweety to hor Mam one day, following a bonny baby competition in hor native Newcastle. An tell yerz this leik, she wuzzen wrong!Noo aall grern up as Cheryl Kerl, shiz the peepils' princess an shiz everywhor yerz look pet. On TV, radieau, magazines an billboadz; just aboot the biggest star in the UK man! And ask hor what she thinks aboot it an she'll jus flash yerz tha big smeel and likelee sey 'Its mint man!' in that Geordie accent so loved the world over. In short shiz fulfilled hor destinee. Noo as queen of aall she surveys, faw the foast teim in this book you'll get a personal insight into what she thinks aboot aall sortz a stuff an tha. Covering topics as divoase as the music biz tuh jeans, the opera tuh fashion icons, itz aall between these pages. Find oot tha being a supahstor's nut just aboot havin the teim of yerz leef gaddin aboot at fillum premiers an tha. Beheend tha smeel lies a leefteim a hoad graft an detomanation.It'z aall heart and soul, pulling no punches itz told leik it is, man woman man.
Wine Makes Mummy Clever
By Andy Riley
The perfect gift for Mother's Day - 60 brilliant ALL NEW cartoons from Andy Riley celebrating the special one. Affectionate, witty and endearing - just like Mum, and it's the gift that keeps on giving - just like Mum. Every day should be Mother's Day.
Walking with Sausage Dogs
By Matt Whyman
Keeping pets is a lovely idea. When building a family, they complement the kids. But what happens when things get out of hand?For writer and house husband, Matt Whyman, it's a case of catastrophe management in coping with four children and all the ill-advised animals amassed by his career wife, Emma. Just as Matt gets to grips with managing her two maxed out minipigs, she falls for a miniature Dachshund - the kind of dog he wouldn't be seen dead with.Hercules isn't big or clever, but Emma is determined. She'll do everything, she promises...From the author of Pig in the Middle.
The Wisdom of the Shire
By Noble Smith
Coinciding with the release of the first of Peter Jackson's Hobbit trilogy, his follow-up to the huge Lord of the Rings success, The Wisdom of the Shire is a practical and fun guide - for Tolkien fans everywhere - showing us how to apply the wisdom of The Hobbit to our everyday lives. Hobbits are those small but brave little people, whose courage, integrity and loyalty allow them to triumph against odds that might appear overwhelming to the rest of us. Noble Smith has long believed there is much we can learn from Frodo's determination, Bilbo's sense of homeliness, Sam's fierce allegiance, and Merry and Pippin's love of food and fun. Like The Tao of Pooh, The Wisdom of the Shire is the first book to show Tolkien fans just how much there is to learn from those small but brave little people - the Hobbits. Packed with amusing insights and fascinating trivia, this fun and insightful guide is all you need to complete your quest in life, and cast your cares into the fires of Mordor. Visit Noble Smith's blog for more on Hobbits, The Lord of the Rings and all things Tolkien at www.shirewisdom.com.
Where in the World is Bob?
By James Bowen
A Street Cat Named Bob meets Where's Wally in this hilarious illustrated book of Bob and his best friend James Bowen on their round-the-world journey.Find Street Cat Bob and his friend James hidden in the illustrations of all the countries they visit.Look for Bob at a cat temple in Japan or on safari in South Africa, as well as other world destinations in this perfect gift for any of his fans.
Who Touched Base in my Thought Shower?
By Steven Poole
Do you hate going forward? Do you shudder when a colleague wants to reach out? Are you disgusted by low-hanging fruit, sick of being on the team, and reluctant to open the kimono?Does the phrase blue-sky thinking make you see red?Do you really want to drill down or take a helicopter view?Are you past caring whether the key drivers are going to move the needle? Should anyone really punch a puppy?And can you bear to hear about a big hairy audacious goal?If modern office jargon makes you want to throw up, this book is for you. Taking a hilarious and scathing deep dive into the most hated and absurd examples of corporate-speak it is a come to Jesus moment for verbally downtrodden workers everywhere.
By Susan Ee
The irresistibly compelling BOOK TWO in the long awaited PENRYN AND THE END OF DAYS series. It is THE book we are all waiting with bated breath to read... In this sequel to the bestselling fantasy thriller, Angelfall, the survivors of the angel apocalypse begin to scrape back together what's left of the modern world. When a group of people capture Penryn's sister Paige, thinking she's a monster, the situation ends in a massacre. Paige disappears. Humans are terrified. Mom is heartbroken. Penryn drives through the streets of San Francisco looking for Paige. Why are the streets so empty? Where is everybody? Her search leads her into the heart of the angels' secret plans, where she catches a glimpse of their motivations, and learns the horrifying extent to which the angels are willing to go. Meanwhile, Raffe hunts for his wings. Without them, he can't rejoin the angels, can't take his rightful place as one of their leaders. When faced with recapturing his wings or helping Penryn survive, which will he choose?
By Alexander Cordell
The cauldron of revolution is boiling over and igniting the passions of the people of Ireland. The year is 1798 and seventeen year old John Regan faces danger and even death as he struggles alongside the leaders of the rebellion as they attempt to capture a valuable English hostage.The second in a trilogy of books set in 18th century Ireland, from the bestselling author of Rape of the Fair Country.
The White Cockade
By Alexander Cordell
An enthralling story of high adventure, ambush and pursuit, plot and counterplot during the ill-fated United Irishmen Rebellion of 1798.When seventeen-year-old John Regan takes on a mission entrusted to him by his dying father, he rides through an Ireland seething with danger with more than just his own life in his hands.The first in a trilogy of books set in 18th century Ireland, from the bestselling author of Rape of the Fair Country.
By Randall Munroe
THE SUNDAY TIMES NUMBER ONE BESTSELLERFrom the creator of the wildly popular xkcd.com, hilarious and informative answers to important questions you probably never thought to ask.Millions visit xkcd.com each week to read Randall Munroe's iconic webcomic. Fans ask him a lot of strange questions: How fast can you hit a speed bump, driving, and live? When (if ever) did the sun go down on the British Empire? When will Facebook contain more profiles of dead people than living? How many humans would a T Rex rampaging through New York need to eat a day?In pursuit of answers, Munroe runs computer simulations, pores over stacks of declassified military research memos, solves differential equations and consults nuclear reactor operators. His responses are masterpieces of clarity and hilarity, complemented by comics. They often predict the complete annihilation of humankind, or at least a really big explosion.
Way Down Dark
By James P. Smythe
There's one truth on Australia. You fight or you die. Usually both. Imagine a nightmare from which there is no escape. Seventeen-year-old Chan's ancestors left a dying Earth hundreds of years ago, in search of a new home. They never found one. This is a hell where no one can hide. The only life that Chan's ever known is one of violence, of fighting. Of trying to survive. This is a ship of death, of murderers and cults and gangs. But there might be a way to escape. In order to find it, Chan must head way down into the darkness - a place of buried secrets, long-forgotten lies, and the abandoned bodies of the dead. This is Australia.Seventeen-year-old Chan, fiercely independent and self-sufficient, keeps her head down and lives quietly, careful not to draw attention to herself amidst the violence and disorder. Until the day she makes an extraordinary discovery - a way to return the Australia to Earth. But doing so would bring her to the attention of the fanatics and the murderers who control life aboard the ship, putting her and everyone she loves in terrible danger. And a safe return to Earth is by no means certain.
By Gyles Brandreth
'No matter how eloquently a dog may bark, he cannot tell you that his parents were poor but honest.' Only words can do that. Words are magic. Words are fun.Join Gyles Brandreth - wit and word-meister, Just A Minute regular, One Show reporter, denizen of Countdown's Dictionary Corner, founder of the National Scrabble Championships, patron of The Queen's English Society, QI, Room 101, Have I Got News For You and Pointless survivor - on an uproarious and unexpected magic carpet ride around the awesome world of words and wordplay.Puns, palindromes, pangrams, Malaprops, euphemisms, mnemonics, acronyms, anagrams, alphabeticals, Tweets, verbiage, verbarrhea - if you can name it, you should find it here, along with the longest, shortest, wittiest, wildest, oldest, latest, oddest, most interesting and most memorable words in the English language - the richest, most remarkable language ever known.