Parenting The Sh*t Out Of Life
By Mother Pukka, Papa Pukka
'This is the stuff no one tells you! Honest, real and tear-inducingly funny' Giovanna Fletcher, author of Happy Mum Happy Baby'Snort-tea-through-nose funny' Cherry Healey, author of Letters to my Fanny***BY THE CREATORS OF MOTHERPUKKA.COM AND THE DIRTY MOTHER PUKKA PODCAST (#3 ON THE ITUNES PODCASTS CHARTS)******FOR FANS OF HURRAH FOR GIN, THE UNMUMSY MUM, GIOVANNA FLETCHER AND THE SCUMMY MUMMIES*** From the minds behind the wildly successful parenting blog MotherPukka.com and the creators of the Dirty Mother Pukka podcast, comes a memoir told from both parents' perspectives that doesn't scrimp on the shits, giggles or tears that accompany life with a small human (or small humans). MOTHER PUKKA AND PAPA PUKKA at last offer you this: a book that will not help you grow or raise a human successfully, but a book that might, if you're not too emotionally battered - and can see past the permanent eye twitch - help you laugh a little more than you cry.This is one couple's take on the horrors and humour of modern parenting told from his side and hers: honest, sad and laugh-out-loud funny. It will speak to anyone with a child or children of their own - or to those hoping to take that monumental step. It may not be easy and you might have no idea what you are doing but, as the Pukkas demonstrate, with a bit of teeth-gnashing, tongue-chewing and joke-cracking, you too will be parenting the sh*t out of life.
By Joe Lycett
**THE BRILLIANT & IRREVERENT DEBUT FROM AWARD-WINNING COMEDIAN JOE LYCETT (8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown, Taskmaster), NOW IN PAPERBACK**'Joe is nothing short of hilarious' SARAH MILLICAN'I Lycett, I Lycett a lot' HARRY HILL'We were snorting with laughter like a happy pig throughout. Lots more of the same please Joe! 5*s' HEAT MAGAZINE* * * * * *Dear Reader,Life is hard. We are a bombarded generation: Facebook, billboards, Twitter, Instagram, taxes, newspapers, watches monitoring our sleep, apps that read our pulse, terrorism. There's such an onslaught to the senses these days it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed. I love bed.While we are overwhelmed and confused by the miasmic cloud of information, there are those that seek to take advantage: there are parking fines, hate Tweets, Nigerian email scams and Christmas newsletters from old school friends about their ugly kids. And just as we're getting round to doing something about it, we're distracted again.I, Joe Lycett, comedian, wordsmith, and professional complainer, am here to help. During my short life of doing largely nothing I've discovered solutions to many of life's problems, which I impart to you, dear Reader. Containing a centurion of complaint letters to unsuspecting celebrities, companies and anyone brave enough to clog up my phone, as well as illustrations, one-liners , jokes and life hacks, this little gem offers you a collection of tips and advice* for all manner of modern woe. By the time you have finished reading this book you will have learnt how to:- Reverse a parking fine - Manipulate the tabloid press - Navigate social media - Respond to hate mail - Out-weird internet trolls - Contest a so-called ripe avocado - Send the perfect Christmas newsletter - Defeat ISIS - Take down multi-national companiesAND MUCH, MUCH MORE!Joe Lycett x* If you are looking for guidance with taxes, quitting smoking, moving house, love, divorce, education, healthcare or anything actually important may I recommend speaking to friends or family members and not consulting a book by a comedian who eats halloumi at least twice a day.
Peggy and Me
By Miranda Hart
FROM THE STAR of the award-winning BBC sitcom Miranda, comes Miranda Hart's hilarious account of life with her beloved dog Peggy, a gorgeous white bichon frise.'Hilariously funny and often moving memoir ... we loved every word *****' Heat'Open, honest ... her misadventures are hilariously described ... charming and funny' Daily Express* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *Hello dear book browser and welcome to Peggy & Me, the story of my life since getting a beautiful Shih-Tzu Bichon Frise cross puppy (I call the breed a Shitty Frise - fun) in the form of Peggy.Some of you may be thinking: "a book about a dog, how totally brilliant, I need hear no more, I'm sold." In which case we should be best friends and go out to tea together, every day.Others of you may be thinking: "a book about a dog, how totally mad, she must have officially lost it." In which case I completely understand. For I once viewed dog owners with much suspicion. The way they obsessively talk about their dogs often using voices for them to reply; the way they have a light covering of dog hair all over their clothes and sofas; and worse, an alarming comfort and ease around excrement. But I now get why people become so mad about their hounds. It wasn't instant love I have to admit. Getting a puppy when I was at a low ebb in my life wasn't easy - there was a lot of challenging, what I call, dog administration (dog-min), and the humiliating first trip to the vet still haunts me. It's been a bumpy old road, but Peggy has been lovingly by my side through some life-changing moments and I wouldn't have coped without her. Most surprisingly she has taught me a huge amount - not how to get an old pie packet out of a bin and lick it (I could already do that), but real lessons about life and love and trust and friendship. Put aside any doggy reservations and come walkies with Peggy and me ...
A Pointless History of the World
By Richard Osman, Alexander Armstrong
A festive treat filled with quiz questions, trivia, witty facts and longer stand-up style pieces from the stars of the hit BBC quiz show Pointless. A Pointless History of the World is a journey through time pulling out some of the most 'pointless', comedic and interesting events - from the obvious to the obscure - and combines brilliant quiz content from the show with Richard and Xander's own brilliantly funny and incredibly intelligent quick-witted stand-up style writing. Interactive, hilarious and jam-packed full of quiz questions that will have every Pointless fan vying to be crowned the Pointless champion in their own household this Christmas.
Peace of Mind
By Georgina Rodgers
Life for modern mums can be non-stop. With the endless demands of family and work it can feel impossible to find headspace or set aside time just for you.Create a moment - a few minutes or even an hour - of inner calm with this collection of mindful exercises, colouring in, inspirational quotes, meditations, craft ideas and more.Designed for busy, time-poor people Peace of Mind is a practical and motivational journal that will help you restore tranquillity and balance.
Play and Win Mah-jong: Teach Yourself
By David Pritchard
This is an essential handbook for anyone new to the game of Mahjong. It takes you from the very beginning - learning the rules, choosing a set (or playing online) to advanced advice on strategy and gamesmanship. Each stage of play is clearly explained with diagrams and instructions and with plenty of practical examples to help you learn. Full coverage of the basics of scoring, settlements and penalties will help you become a true master of the game.
The Pub Landlord's Great British Pub Quiz Book
By Al Murray
Who invented the pub quiz?The British, of course!Who doesn't enjoy a rousing question-and-answer session over a pint and some scratchings? Indeed, what higher calling is there than standing in the pub loudly demanding answers to difficult questions like 'd'you want some?' Here, for your pleasure, Britain's leading pub landlord, The Pub Landlord, presents the finest collection of facts imaginable. Enjoy the attention of friends and strangers by revealing how many James Bonds there were, how many times the French have capitulated and exactly how long those pickled eggs have been in that jar on the bar.The ladies love a well-read man and this book will give you the tools needed to impress her (don't worry, answers are included). None of your French-type philosophical musings here. No, this is a proper quiz for the Great British Public. In a public house. Or your living room.
Planes, Trains and Automobiles
By Dan Kieran
What is it about an engine roaring into life that makes grown men go weak at the knees? This is a book about machines and the men who love them. Some of these men are quite odd. Having always been a mechanaphobe himself, living in the slow lane, Dan Kieran is on a mission to discover the allure of machines and man's need for speed. Follow Dan as he climbs aboard a penny-farthing for a jaunt around west London, drives a steam train through the 'alps', joins the pit lane crew of Mitsubishi for the Britcar 24-hour race at Silverstone, discovers the link between Lawrence of Arabia and the 'wall of death', meets tank (yes, tank) collectors and the men behind 'digger ballet', learns to fly in the shadow of Douglas Bader and, along the way, wrestles with Aristotle, Jeremy Clarkson, Plato, Hunter S. Thompson and, mostly, himself.Join Dan as he makes a journey of discovery into another world, the happy and quirky world of the Great British potterer and machine enthusiast. Could he even be tempted to stay there?
Penguins Stopped Play
By Harry Thompson, Harry Thompson
'Completely brilliant' Ian HislopIt seemed a simple enough idea at the outset: to assemble a team of eleven men to play cricket on each of the seven continents of the globe. Except - hold on a minute - that's not a simple idea at all. And when you throw in incompetent airline officials, amorous Argentine Colonels' wives, cunning Bajan drug dealers, gay Australian waiters, overzealous American anti-terrorist police, idiot Welshmen dressed as Santa Claus, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and whole armies of pitch-invading Antarctic penguins, you quickly arrive at a whole lot more than you bargained for.Harry Thompson's hilarious book tells the story of one of those great idiotic enterprises that only an Englishman could have dreamed up, and only a bunch of Englishmen could possibly have wished to carry out.