THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
'I love Gretchen Rubin - she helps me understand both myself and the people around me' Cathy Rentzenbrink, 'Obliger' and author of The Last Act of Love
'If you want to change anything in your life you need Gretchen Rubin.' Viv Groskop 'Rebel'
OBLIGER? REBEL? QUESTIONER? UPHOLDER? Which one are you? Everyone falls into 1 of 4 personality types and knowing yours could make you happier and more successful. During her investigation to understand human nature, explored most recently in her bestselling Better Than Before, Gretchen Rubin realised that by asking the seemingly dry question 'How do I respond to expectations?' we gain life changing self-knowledge.
She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behaviour, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively.
More than 800,000 people have taken her online quiz, and managers, doctors, teachers, spouses, and parents already use the framework to help people make significant, lasting change.
The Four Tendencies hold practical answers if you've ever thought...
- People can rely on me, but I can't rely on myself
- How can I help someone to follow good advice?
- People say I ask too many questions
- How do I work with someone who refuses to do what I ask - or who keeps telling me what to do?
With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative.
I love Gretchen Rubin and she helps me understand both myself and the people around me — Cathy Rentzenbrink, Obliger and bestselling author of THE LAST ACT OF LOVE
If the terms "upholder," "questioner," "obliger," and "rebel" mean nothing to you, then, reader, where have you been? ... The reason why the tendency model has proved so successful is that knowledge is power, and Rubin reveals the way for everybody to achieve type-specific changes ... There's something rather profound going on here: an advancing of self-knowledge, and mutual human understanding, which could surely be harnessed as a recipe for world peace. — Hannah Betts, The Telegraph
A genius ... Her commitment to living more happily can seem daunting, but this podcast is jolly and inspiring — Guardian
If you want to change anything in your life, you need Gretchen Rubin. Her ideas are original, instinctive and revolutionary. Whether you want to get fitter, work smarter or be tidier, she shows you how to tweak your habits (almost) effortlessly. This Rebel sleeps better, deletes more email, is three stone lighter and forever in her debt — Viv Groskop, Rebel
The Four Tendencies is a remarkably well-crafted and insightful book. Gretchen Rubin taught me why, as a Rebel, my expectations often clash with others' expectations and helped me develop a more compassionate view. Better still, The Four Tendencies offers powerful steps that we can all take to have more constructive relationships with the people in our lives. — Robert Sutton, Rebel, Stanford Professor and author of THE ASSHOLE SURVIVAL GUIDE: HOW TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE WHO TREAT YOU LIKE DIRT
The greatest predictor of growth and happiness is actionable self- knowledge. Gretchen Rubin gives you the tools to not only understand yourself and others, but what to do with that knowledge. Insightful, practical, and crucial, The Four Tendencies will help you overcome the biggest impediments to your happiness and success. — Shawn Achor, Upholder and author of THE HAPPINESS ADVANTAGE and BEFORE HAPPINESS
Gretchen Rubin has discovered a new framework for understanding ourselves and other people. When we know our Tendency, we can manage ourselves more effectively and reach our goals faster- and we can help others to do that, as well. As a researcher who has studied habits, addiction, and change for twenty years, I'm excited by the simplicity and power of The Four Tendencies as a tool for anyone seeking to make his or her life better. I am implementing this in my clinical programs to help people understand their Tendencies so they can change behaviors, such as stress and emotional eating. — Judson Brewer, MD, PhD, Questioner and author of THE CRAVING MIND and associate professor in Medicine and Psychiatry at the University of Massachusetts Medical School
Gretchen Rubin's groundbreaking Four Tendencies framework is a simple yet powerful tool that helps us better recognise our own nature, harness its strengths, and counteract its weaknesses. With her trademark wit and insight, Gretchen gives us the tools to create the life we want, in a way that's right for us. The surprising thing? Once you know about these four types, you see them everywhere. — Susan David, PhD, Upholder and co-founder of the Institute of Coaching and author of Emotional Agility