Hodder's Literary Rugby World Cup Team
17 Sep 2015
Hodder Towers select the literary figures who would make up their ultimate Rugby World Cup team.
The Rugby World Cup will be opening its doors tomorrow bringing with it a 6 weeks of adrenaline fuelled sporting action.
Which got us thinking… if we were to make a rugby team in publishing what would it look like?
Using only fictional characters from literature (and ignoring the more obvious comic book choices of characters who possess super powers) we’ve put together our dream team to win the Web Ellis Trophy.
1. Pippi Longstocking
A staple of Swedish children’s literature, Pippi boasts superhuman strength and glorious ginger pig tails. She will not only ensure all games are won, but that the team look fabulous doing it.
Who better to face-off against the opposition than Watership Down’s Bigwig? Blunt, impatient and something of a hero in a tight spot. His rabbit legs will be something of a Frith–send when hooking the ball in the scrum too!
3. Miss Trunchbull
Not renowned for her teamwork perhaps but Agatha Trunchbull is sure to strike fear in the opposition and, as an Olympic athlete, her brawny disposition can only be a benefit. We’re just hoping she doesn’t actually hammer-throw any of the opposition.
In the second row you need height and what better than a shepherd of trees? Arguably there may be issues owith the game being too hasty for his liking, but we think his 14ft height more than makes up for it.
5. Joe Gargery
Joe Gargery is honourable, loyal and fair – all great qualities that may act as a much needed foil to the less honourable team mates. But that is not why we have picked him. It is his raw physical strength and his blacksmith day job that we think will hold him in good stead for the engine room of the rugby team.
6. Lisbeth Salander
Lisbeth aka ‘Wasp’ is a world class computer hacker. We’re hoping her digital skills might translate onto the pitch for her to track down the opposition.
7. Patrick Bateman
How would you feel if you had a serial killer hunting you down on the rugby field? Not only that but one of the most infamous fictional killers of all time? Mr Bateman, please take your position.
Half giant, full-blown hero. Rowling herself described him a ‘supposed to be this almost elemental force’ – who better to have on our rugby team?
9. Artful Dodger
In a position infamous for short, posturing individuals, the Artful Dodger will feel right at home. His cunning, skill and niftiness with his hands also mean that the Artful Dodger is just the chap when it comes to throwing the ball around.
10. Katniss Everdeen
A great short and a supreme leader, Katniss Everdeen is our choice Fly-half. The lynchpin between both forwards and back, Katniss will have the team (and the crowd) saluting with three fingers in no time.
11. Arya Stark (resourceful, cunning, ruthless)
Arya has had her troubles in George RR Martin’s world but we think he guile, resourcefulness and ruthless streak will have her cutting through the defence like hot ‘Needle’ through butter.
Who better to charge the opponents defence than a fabled hero from history? A mighty warrior with the strength of 30 men in his grip alone, we’re betting Beowulf would cause a few issues for the opposition.
13. Sherlock Holmes (unlock defences)
In some cases winning a rugby game takes more than brute strength alone. Unparalleled in logic, reason and his more obvious detective skills, we think Mr Holmes will be the key to unlocking defences.
14. Mary Poppins (swoop in when needed)
If you’re looking for a game-changer, who better than Mary Poppins? If she has time to leave her current charge of in-need children, we hope Mary would be so kind to swoop in by the East Wind to help win a game or two.
15. Atticus Finch
The last line of defence? His training may be in the law and not in rugby but we’re betting Atticus Finch’s resolution would be just as strong on the pitch as it is in the courtroom.
Image © Marc, via Flickr